I just watched a show on catfishing. Mary, a 66 year old woman had met “Zeb” online, and in the course of the online relationship, had sent him over $20,000. They had never met in person but he called and texted often, sent beautiful poems, and provided pictures of himself. She said they planned to spend the rest of their lives together. He just couldn’t make it to the States due to his job on an off-shore rig. She was totally convinced he was legit . The problem: he isn’t real. His face probably belongs to somebody. His identifying information (birthday, city of residence) may match somebody. But Zeb is most likely a conglomerate of one person’s online image, another person’s identity, and some imagination on Zeb’s life. Mary was catfished.
Urban Dictionary defines catfishing as “The phenomenon of internet predators that fabricate online identities and entire social circles to trick people into emotional/romantic relationships (over a long period of time)” with “possible motivations: revenge, loneliness, curiosity, boredom” and I would add financial gain. “Zeb” sure made out!
Sweetheart scams aren’t new, and they’ve gone up substantially during the pandemic’s isolation. The estimated cost for 2020 was $304 million, up about 50% from 2019. Victims lost financial security and they also lost emotional security.
What potential victims need to understand is that this is a huge business. This isn’t romance. This isn’t Prince or Princess Charming giving you a chance at a fairy tale ending. This is a potential horror story with a nightmare ending.
This is another scam that has no respect for age. The Federal Trade Commission reports that money lost on sweetheart scams increased for EVERY age group in 2020 with those who were 20 to 29 years old seeing the most significant increase, with the number of reports more than doubling since 2019. Those in the 40 -69 age group were the most likely to report losing money to romance scams. Older adults – 70 and older reported the highest individual median losses at $9,475. I have worked with individuals who have owed over $10,000 for devices that they provided the “sweetheart” – and that was after the companies made all possible adjustments.
Researching information on this, I came on a few pictures of the scammers’ offices. Imagine a large room. Add several desks, telephones and computers. Think about men, women, young, old, any race, and any ethnicity. Many were wearing masks. It’s a business. There is no Zeb. There is no happy ever after with these online scams.
The Federal Trade Commission warns us to never send money or gifts to someone you’ve not met in person; talk to someone you trust about this “relationship” and see if you’re missing something; take it slowly and ask questions; try a reverse-image search if you have pictures; and, report scams to the FTC at www.FTC.gov or call your state’s Attorney General.
Remember: this is not romance. It’s business.
