Headed out for my morning coffee this morning after dropping my kid off at work and there, on all four corners of the intersection, were the white men with their anti-abortion signs. My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I almost missed the green light when I saw the first one. Standing there, holding a sign that read “Abortion kills children,” stoically staring at the passing cars, he didn’t look as if he was having fun. In fact, none of the four men looked as if they were enjoying themselves, and their facial expressions bordered on mean.
I have to give it to the one man because if he’s anything, it’s dedicated to his cause. He’s been standing at busy intersections here in town for decades, holding his signs and protesting abortion. I wonder if he’s changed by standing there over the years. I wonder if he believes he has changed minds by standing there over the years, if he has ever had a conversation with someone whose mind he’s changed. I wonder if he’s ever had a conversation with anyone who stopped after driving by.
Because I’d like to have a conversation with him and probably will one day. I sat there this morning, staring at the men, and imagined what they would do if I parked my car and walked up to them. They’d probably be a little uncomfortable, maybe even scared, because I am about as good at disguising my body language as I am my facial expressions. But I want to know exactly what it is about abortion that moves a man to take such a stand.
The other interesting thing to me is that he’s organized for his protest because he is no longer standing alone out there. So he’s been able to find other men who believe they have the right to tell me what to do with my uterus. How did that conversation happen?
And here’s my biggest question, which is probably the one I’ll ask the day I decide to approach them: Are you pro-life or simply anti-abortion? What exactly do you do or believe needs to be done in the world for these children to have stable lives as they grow? Have they ever sat with what they’re saying or is their protest merely a surface level belief without consideration of the consequences of what they’re pushing for?
I am pro-choice. First of all, I know there is never going to be anyone besides myself that I know 100 percent. I don’t know anyone who isn’t carrying some sort of secret around with them, regardless of the size or impact of it. There are some things and thoughts that we won’t ever share. And my idea of freedom of choice means that I choose what I think is best for myself/my family at the moment without being forced to explain, defend, and/or be seen as less than because of it.
I know some of life’s struggles. I’ve actually been in my head a lot here lately about the way my life has changed in the past 18 years since I became a parent. I’ve been broke enough to cash in all the change I could find and when that was gone, I literally had no money to my name on several occasions (there’s a difference between saying you’re down to your last dollar and knowing you’re down to your last dollar). I’ve also had small windfalls at times, like with tax refunds and selling my house. And for 16 of the past 18 years, I lived rent free in a house, freeing me from the worry of housing. In fact, I spent most of my days sometimes thanking God for the blessing of that rundown house because shelter was the only thing I wasn’t worried about.
For the past year, I’ve been working to convince our government that we need a care economy, one that provides all the important building blocks so we can raise our families well by being able to provide the proper care for them. This includes things like paid leave because we’re forced between work, unpaid wages, and caring for a loved one. It includes the Child Tax Credit expansion. Child care is a huge piece of a care economy because without it, people can’t work. I feel as if a living wage should be included in this and free health care, as well, because we all deserve the opportunities afforded with economic justice.
That’s what I want to talk to the sign-holding men about – which parts of a care economy are they advocating for on behalf of the children whose lives they want to save? Because if they think abortion kills children, let’s talk about what poverty does to them while they’re living.
Onward,
Amy Jo
