Getting from Point A to Point B in the Wheeling area has gotten complicated since the geniuses downstate decided all of our roads and bridges needed repairing at the same time. It was already a headache, but we’ve transitioned into a full-blown migraine.
Getting from my house on Wheeling Island to say, Cheddars at The Highlands has Waze saying, “I don’t know man, maybe try the one in Columbus instead.”
Seriously. It’s that ridiculous out there.
Take my recent adventure, one I hadn’t intended on going on. I had a couple of appointments, one in Elm Grove, the other in Valley Grove. I was going to go to the appointments then head home to work some more. My first appointment was at 12:15 p.m. so I left the house at 11 because I wanted to get coffee.
The trip to get coffee and to my first appointment was fine. There was some confusion on Interstate 70 East at the Washington Ave. exit (I don’t know who set up those cones but a directional arrow denoting which lane is the exit and which is the through lane would be great), and then the typical stay out of the way of the semis screaming off I-470 and then dart across two lanes of traffic to get to the exit but overall, not bad. Arrived to my first appointment on time.
Next Stop
My second appointment was at 1 p.m. and less than two miles from where I currently was. No highway needed; left turn; keep right for a mile and I was there, also in plenty of time. I finished that appointment and now it was time to head home.
I’m in Elm Grove. I live on the Island.
Yeah.
So, I’m on National Road not too far from Dairy Queen and I’m heading East. Traffic is steady but flowing. No problems on Chicken Neck Hill. National Road by Sheetz and Tim Hortons? Easy Peasy. Even the intersection to get on I-70 East was flowing freely. Cool. Shouldn’t be too bad.
Then I got to Wheeling Hill.
Mountaineer Gas was working and had a lane closed. Traffic was backed up to Generations. And it was crawling. So, I crawled. Did you remember the opening scene in the movie Office Space when the main character was sitting in traffic and got passed by an elderly person using a walker? Traffic was so slow that the elderly person could have stopped, enjoyed a snack and started again and still would have beat me to the top of the hill. We were moving so slowly, a turtle would look like Usain Bolt. It was ridiculous.
So, as I neared the top of the hill, I decided I wasn’t going to take the same route as everyone else and go down the other side and take the I-70 West onramp from Main Street.
Instead I took MLK Blvd. to Chapline St. My intent was to get on I-70 from Market Street.
And Then This
Enter AEP.
Not sure what they were working on but Chapline Street was down to one lane and there was a LONG line of traffic coming up. So, I sat and waited as the stream of cars kept coming up the hill. I thought about counting them, but I sensed that would just annoy me, so I sucked it up and listened to music instead.
After “The Light” by Disturbed and halfway through “The Show Must Go On” by Queen, traffic in my lane started moving again. Make the turn onto 11th Street, then onto Market. Smooth sailing. Jumped on the onramp to 70W…
Did everyone flunk Merging 101? There was a battle of wills happening between my lane and cars getting on from Main Street. Why they couldn’t take turns merging onto the highway is beyond me. If the car in the other lane just went, then it’s your turn. Then the car behind you waits for the car in the other lane to go and then it’s their turn.
Why. Is. That. So Difficult?
After watching three almost fender-benders, I decided I’d wave the car in the other lane in front of me and I’d go directly after him. I get to the stop sign and wave him through. He smiles, waves back and pulls out. I start to pull out behind him and the truck that was behind him guns its engine and pulls out in front of me. He thought it was funny.
I gave him the finger.
I finally returned home and went back to work an hour later than planned, but I guess I’d better get used to it because we still have almost three more years to deal with this mess.
Or maybe I’ll take Waze’s advice and just go to Columbus instead.
