In today’s polarized political climate, civility in political discourse has become increasingly rare. The growth in the use of social media, giving access to 24-hour news cycles, and a deep partisan divide have created an environment where shouting matches often replace meaningful conversations, and personal attacks almost always overshadow policy debates.
However, if we want to live in a functioning democracy, one that reflects the values of the people it serves, we, as civilized people must commit to restoring civility when discussing politics and political differences.
Civility is not about avoiding tough conversations. Likewise, it is not about compromising one’s beliefs. It is about engaging in those conversations with respect, listening to those with opposing viewpoints, and recognizing the humanity in those with whom we disagree. It is about resisting the urge to demonize those who hold different political views and instead striving for understanding, even when agreement seems out of reach.
One of the primary reasons we must be civil in political discussions is that our very democracy depends on it. The very nature of a democratic system is built on debate, compromise, and the exchange of ideas. When political conversations become hostile, people shut down, and the possibility of finding common ground disappears.
If we cannot talk to each other respectfully, how can we communicate to our representatives so they can effectively govern, solve problems, or move us forward as a nation?
Furthermore, being uncivil discourages participation in the political process. When people witness harsh rhetoric, name-calling, and personal attacks dominating the political landscape, they start to become disillusioned and may become disengaged. This is particularly true for young people and those who feel caught in between the extremes and unsure where they fit. If we want a healthy democracy, we must foster an environment where people feel safe and encouraged to share their views without fear of ridicule or hostility.
Personally, I believe this is why so few are interested in getting involved in the political process. Who in their right mind wants to subject their family to the ridicule and vitriol on social media?
It is brutal.
I recall multiple phone messages left on my home telephone answering machine by a neighbor, who hopefully knew our Capitol had once again returned to Charleston, yet she left vicious messages at my home throughout the week. When I returned home and found them. I called her, to only get her answering machine, which of course, I more than likely properly assumed she was screening. Only to return to my Charleston office phone to receive another message.
She did not want to speak to me to articulate her concerns. She was trying to threaten and intimidate me and my family.
We must prioritize civility because that is what strengthens our communities. Politics is not only about what happens in Charleston, Columbus, or Washington, D.C. It is about what happens in our own neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces. If we allow political differences to erode our relationships with friends, family members, and colleagues, we weaken the very fabric of our communities. By engaging in civil conversations, we demonstrate it is possible to disagree without being disagreeable and that relationships matter more than partisan loyalty.
It is also worth noting that civility leads to better decision-making. When people engage in open, respectful dialogue, they are more likely to consider different perspectives, weigh evidence carefully, and refine their own positions. When discussions become antagonistic, however, people tend to dig in their heels and resist changing their minds, even when confronted with compelling evidence.
A culture of civility allows for growth, learning, and more thoughtful policymaking.
Civility does not mean avoiding political conflict. In fact, some of the most significant progress has often come from passionate debates about some very difficult issues such as civil rights, women’s suffrage, labor laws, and more. But these debates have been most effective when deeply rooted in respect and a shared commitment to the common good. Passion and civility are not mutually exclusive.
We can and should advocate for our beliefs while still treating others with dignity.
So how do we restore civility in our political discourse? It starts with each of us committing to a few key principles. We need to begin with listening. Too often, we engage in political discussions not to understand but to respond. Active listening, the art of really hearing what someone else is saying without immediately formulating a rebuttal, can go a long way in fostering mutual respect.
Accept the person has good intentions. Instead of immediately attributing bad motives to those who disagree with us, we should start by assuming that most people genuinely want what they believe is best for their communities and country. They may be misguided in our view, but that does not make them malicious.
We need to take the people out of it and focus on the policies. Criticizing policies and ideas is fair game. Attacking people is not okay. When we make political discussions personal, we create unnecessary hostility and end the possibility for productive conversation.
And, nobody has the right to wish death, COVID, or whatever sick thing I have seen wished on some of my former colleagues this past week. It is not even a little okay. Do better! Be better! Some of what I have seen is ridiculous.
What if that were your loved one?
We need to always remember; our choice of words is important. Our language matters. Using inflammatory rhetoric, exaggerations, or sweeping generalizations only deepens the divide. If we want to persuade, we must be measured in our tone and thoughtful in our use of words.
Finally, the way we discuss politics today sets the tone for how future generations will engage in the democratic process. If we want our children to value respectful discourse, we must lead by example.
Ultimately, it is essential to recognize that civility does not require us to accept injustice or tolerate harmful policies. We can and should challenge ideas that we believe are wrong, harmful, or unethical. But how we engage in those challenges matters. Change is more likely to happen when we persuade rather than alienate, when we build coalitions rather than burn bridges.
In the end, civility in political discourse is not just about being polite. It is about protecting democracy, encouraging participation, strengthening communities, improving decision-making, and creating a society where people can engage in the political process without fear or hostility.
If we want a better future, we must start by changing the way we talk to each other today.
