There are certain truths that only become clear when life slows you down enough to force you to notice them. Some of these arrive gently, like a soft reminder on a quiet afternoon. Others hit suddenly, with a sharp blow, often triggered by a holiday, a memory, or a phone call you did not see coming. But one truth stands above all the rest, steady and unchanging.
If you are lucky enough to have your mother still, no matter your age, be sure to tell her you love her.
That truth settled even deeper into my heart recently as we celebrated the life of a wonderful woman. She was an educator by vocation, but more importantly, a devoted wife and mother. She was the kind of woman who shaped young minds during the school day and then went home to shape the lives of her own children with the same grace, strength, and steadiness. Her passing left a notable space in our church, the community, and an even larger one in the hearts of those who loved her. Watching her family share memories, stories, and tears was a powerful reminder of just how profound a mother’s presence is and how deeply her absence is felt.
Moments like that have a way of sharpening our focus.
They make us think about the tenderness, the complications, and the beauty that live inside every mother-child relationship. For many daughters, especially, the relationship with a mother can be layered. Mothers and daughters can have complex relationships, misunderstandings, different personalities, or old hurts that linger. Even those complicated places are usually rooted in love. Underneath the disagreements, the distance, or the friction is a deep, instinctive bond. One that says, you are mine, and I am yours, even when the path isn’t always smooth.
That is why the words matter so much.
It can be easy to assume we will always have time. We will get to it tomorrow. There will always be time to visit or time to call. Time to say the things we mean but do not always voice, time to show our appreciation in more than hurried gestures or last-minute cards. But “soon” is one of the most fragile promises we make, and seeing a family grieve the loss of a mother whose love shaped their world is enough to make anyone pause and reevaluate how they use the time they still have.
Mothers have a way of anchoring us to who we were, who we are, and who we are still becoming. They are the quiet keepers of our stories, the ones who remember the details we forget, who remember how old we were when we lost our first tooth, which stuffed animal we refused to sleep without, and the way our little feet sounded running through the house. They carried us before we arrived, and in many ways, they continue carrying us long after we have grown up and moved out.
They deserve to hear “I love you” without having to assume, guess, or hope that we feel it.
Tell her you love her when she answers the phone with that familiar “Hello” that makes you feel five years old again. Tell her when you are leaving her house after a quick visit, knowing she will stand in the doorway and watch you pull out of the driveway. Tell her when something reminds you of her. Call her when you are making one of her favorite recipes, or when you hear a song that she likes to sing, or when someone uses a phrase that she used to say when you were worried, tired, or heartbroken. Tell her because life is unpredictable, and love should never be left unsaid.
If your relationship with your mother has been complicated, strained, or marked by distance, you can still tell her anyway, in whatever version of love feels true to both of you. Love does not always look like closeness. Sometimes it is forgiveness. Sometimes it is acceptance. Sometimes it’s simply acknowledging that even imperfect mothers leave permanent marks on our hearts. It does not have to be a perfect moment or a perfect relationship to say the words.
It only has to be honest.
For those whose mothers are still here, you have a gift that not everyone gets. It does not matter if you are 18, 38, or 58. It does not matter if she lives across town or across the country. What matters is that you do not let the opportunity slip away.
A quick “I love you, Mom” can change the tone of her whole day. It can soften old worries she hides behind her smile. It can remind her that no matter how grown-up you are, she is still your mother, and that still means something.
For those who no longer have their mothers, your love has not disappeared. It lives in your habits, your values, your strengths, and your memories. It lives in the way you give advice, the way you care for others, and in the way your heart moves through the world. You carry her with you, even without realizing it. Perhaps your reminder to the rest of us is the most powerful one of all. Do not wait. Say the words.
Call her. Stop by. Send the text. Take the picture. Ask the questions. Write down the stories. Listen when she talks about the past, even the parts you have heard a hundred times before. Let her know she is loved, not just for being your mother, but for being the woman she is.
Life gives us many responsibilities, but this one … this one is simple.
If you are lucky enough to have your mother still, no matter how old you are, make sure to tell her you love her. Today. While you can.
