Back in 1951 Hollywood released what to this day still is inarguably the best science fiction movie ever made. “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” starring Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal and directed by Robert Wise, tells the story of a humanoid named Klaatu (Rennie), who lands his spaceship on a baseball field in Washington, D.C.

Shortly after the ship lands, police and the Army with heavy artillery surround it. When the ship finally opens, Klaatu emerges carrying a strange little gadget that one of the soldiers guarding the ship thinks is a weapon, and he instinctively shoots and wounds Klaatu. Suddenly in the doorway to the spaceship appears an 8-foot tall robot named Gort, which promptly shoots out rays from his eye shield and reduces all of the Army’s weaponry to useless puddles of metal.

As the film progresses, we learn that Klaatu’s trip here was intended to be peaceful and to offer the people of earth an ultimatum and a warning, which we will get to in a few moments. Let’s imagine what Klaatu’s debriefing might have been like when he arrived back home. Here is the conversation he had with his commander.

CDR: Welcome back, Klaatu. How was your trip?

KLT: It was very strange, sir. In short, the earth is pretty much of a mess right now.

CDR: Oh, in what way?

Klat: Well, in the first place they are battling a horrific pandemic of the COVID-19 virus that has infected more than 8 million people worldwide and has killed more than 450,000. If you recall, sir, we had a brief stint of that here a while back. But because all of our people listened to instructions, we were able to wipe it out pretty quickly. Everyone practiced social distancing, washed their hands often, wore a mask in public, and avoided large gatherings. The earthlings almost had a handle on it, and then they relaxed on all the rules, and now it’s flaring up again. When I was approaching Washington, D.C., I flew up the coastline, and all the beaches were packed. I think some of the people down there just aren’t very smart.

CDR: So it would seem. What else is transpiring down there?

KLT: Well, sir, many of the people in the United States, where I was, seem so angry all the time. They indulge in both peaceful and violent protests, and sometimes their police officers actually kill innocent people. Then those deaths spark more protests, and it’s an endless cycle. From my observation some of them lack basic intelligence, and they disrupt a peaceful existence for everyone else.

CDR: So who in the hell is in charge down there?

KLT: It’s a man named Donald Trump; they call him President, and the problem is that while he has some staunch supporters, he also has some enemies. You see, sir, they have a political system with two parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, and they are constantly bickering. They remind me of children playing in a sandbox, and when one child doesn’t get his way, he takes his toy truck and goes home. But instead of toys, the Republicans and Democrats fight over bills, laws, and other pieces of legislation in their sandbox. Thus, instead of serving the people who elected them, some of them are so wrapped up in themselves that they lose track of what they are supposed to be doing. Also, they have a presidential election coming up in November, and the mud and insults are already beginning to eventuate.

CDR: You’re right, Klaatu. It sounds like unmitigated chaos. How were things left when you departed?

KLT: Here’s a transcript of my final address to the earthlings. May I read it to you?

CDR: Very well, go ahead.

A photo of an alien.
Klaatu was a character in . “The Day the Earth Stood Still.”

KLT: I am leaving soon and you’ll forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group anywhere can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first signs of violence they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is we live in peace without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war, free to pursue more profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.

CDR: Well, that should make things clear enough.

KLT: Yes, sir, now what?

CDR: Well, let’s observe them until that election is over. If things don’t improve, you know what to do.

KLT: Yes, sir. Send Gort down to clean things up.