Dear Santa,
We realize it’s early for anyone to send you a letter, but this correspondence does not concern a gift request but instead this note is a warning about the letters to come from children this Christmas season.
Many may still ask for Barbie dolls and Tonka trucks, but more than ever will ask you to bring their Grandma or Pap-Pap back. They believe you have flying reindeer that get you around the world in a single night to deliver billions of toys as you somehow, some way, go down and up all those chimneys.
The bar has been set pretty high, Santa you see, and that is why some children, and adults, will ask you to kill COVID-19. Make it go away. Again, somehow, some way. Some believe the twitch of a your nose or a wink of your eye could do away with the coronavirus, so you should expect those wishes, too. Others likely will ask for a particular mask, latex gloves, and a bulk amount of hand sanitizer, but hey, if you can eat millions of cookies in one night without suffering a diabetic seizure you can manufacture those things, too.
We’re not going to be permitted to sit on your lap this year. Even if we stumble upon you this Christmas night, we’ll need to remain socially distanced. The “new norm” discourages would-be spectators at the holiday season’s parades. “Ho-ho-ho” has become, “No-no-no.”
We’re still in “This Sucks” times 48 days before Christmas, and that is why we sure could use a little extra Santa magic this year.
OK, so yeah, that would be the best gift of all, and yeah, we’re asking.
Sincerely,
The Countdown to Christmas Club
