(Publisher’s Note: We’ve decided to re-publish this article after the flooding and recovery during the past week. This article offers answers to a lot of “What Ifs” some residents may have encountered.)
They can be found in a closet, under steps, crawl spaces, attics, or tucked away in boxes or crates, bins, or totes. Some are marked, most not, and it’s weird – really weird – every single time.
There are the formal, fancy urns, but also the shoe boxes, bottles, jugs, jars, and jewelry boxes. There is nothing consistent with any of it either except for the fact no one knows where whoever in the box needs to go next. Let that sink in.
Weird, yes, but not as uncommon as many may believe. Gene Fahey from Altmeyer Funeral Homes said his office receives frequent requests for assistance from businesses connected to the real estate and auction industries after a property has been cleared.
“Through the years, houses where generations of families once lived have come up for sale, and sometimes the old homes are not completely empty when a new family takes over,” he said. “When we receive those calls, we do everything we can to help resolve the situation.
“I know on the surface finding the cremains of another human can sound sensational, but if you really think about it, it’s very, very sad,” Fahey said. “When a family chooses cremation, it’s a decision that includes keeping those cremains and taking care of the loved one the way a family is supposed to, but these situations do happen too often.”
Fahey said a nationwide shift took place over the last decade that’s led to the current 50-50 split between cremations and burials.
“And hopefully that means families will make the proper plans so the cremains of a loved one remains with the family instead of the alternative,” said the regional VP and general manager. “The families have a lot of options.”
Tucked Away
Maybe it was kept near the box with her wedding dress or hidden away in a bin full of memories in the basement. Some have been rescued from the top shelf in the master bedroom closet while others have been boxed and buried by even more boxes.
In late October, Wheeling businessman Alex Coogan was clearing a property he purchased when he stumbled upon a small, labeled box. A lady named “Norma Lou” had lost her way.
“I’ve been in this business for a number of years now so it is something we do find from time to time because a lot of the properties have been sold by people who no longer live in this area,” the entrepreneur explained. “When it happens, we set it aside until we can make the calls we need to make.
“This past time, we called Altmeyer’s and I put it out on Facebook, too, trying to find the family,” Coogan explained. “And this time, it all worked out because of the solid information that was on the label, but it’s not always that convenient.”
He does recall his first experience, though, when he stumbled upon an urn.
“I can’t say I was creeped out the very first I found someone’s remains. I just handled it properly and made sure the urn was returned to its owner,” Coogan said. “I really can’t describe how it feels, but I can tell you I felt bad for the person who was left behind.
“But there also have been times when we have found small containers we thought were urns, but they ended up being full of memory things like small photos and name tags and things like that,” he explained. “The whole process makes you think about the people who had all of the stuff and what it meant to them when they were still here living in Wheeling.”
Urns are available in all shapes and sizes, and they can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. They can be inscribed, photos can be infused, and many of the cremation vases come with cases for safekeeping.
“That’s why I believe the message here is this, if a loved one has chosen cremation, the family should have a conversation about the cremains. Who will keep them and care for them is an important decision, and far too many times, we see those plans have either fallen through or have never been made,” Fahey said. “Now that about half of all deaths result in cremations, we hope people will do the dignified thing more often than not.
“Legally, once the cremains have been handed over to the family, it becomes their property, and when someone like Alex (Coogan) finds urns that have been left behind, we do everything we can to get them back in the hands of family members,” he added. “Those situations are very, very sad because if we can’t reach family, the memories of that life are lost and that’s not what was supposed to take place.”
