They Did What?
Well, the wait is over! We finally found out what the punishment is going to be for W. Franklin Evans, West Liberty University President, for plagiarizing parts of his speeches, including the one he gave at the university’s opening convocation. In case you may have forgotten, the West Liberty Board of Governors was charged with devising a punishment for the president, and last week the BOG had a meeting to do just that. The following information is from a press release issued from the office of the director of media relations at West Liberty.
After calling the meeting to order, chairman Rich Lucas and the rest of the board went into executive session for about an hour and forty-five minutes. After they all returned, the following occurred as described in the text of the press release: “A motion was made and seconded to publicly censure President W. Franklin Evans, and the motion passed, 10 – 0. Two of the board members, Michael Baker and Arlene Brantley, were unable to attend.
“According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of censure is an ‘official strong criticism and severe disapproval.’ “This public censure will be placed into the permanent record of the minutes of the Board of Governors meeting,” said Chairman Lucas.
“The Board has consulted with the West Virginia Higher Education Policy Commission (HEPC). Its guidance and experience have been invaluable. The decision to censure President Evans rests solely with
the West Liberty University Board of Governors.”
So, there you have it, plagiarism fans. Copy somebody else’s work and get off with a public censure. Oh no! Not a public censure. Can you say, “Wrist slap”? Just who is going to learn about this? Can’t you just see people lining up from blocks away to get a glance at the famous West Liberty University Censure Minutes? Please bring me a T-shirt and make sure “censure” is spelled correctly.
Check this out.
First day of class. Freshman Composition. After greeting the class and explaining the attendance policy, the professor says, “Now, class, I must warn you about plagiarism. Basically this is copying someone else’s work and passing it off as your own.” Some oos and awes fill the room. “Are there any questions?”
From a timid girl, “What’s the penalty for plagiarism?”
“For cheating of this nature, the penalty is the maximum. No, you won’t have to withdraw from the class or from school. No, you won’t fail for the paper. It’s the harshest punishment the university bestows. You’ll be censured. That means that your name will be recorded in a special book that no one will ever see.
“Where is the book kept?”
“Nobody knows, but you know it’s there. SOMEWHERE!”
Time for change of classes. Students shuffling out of the room.
Comments: “Dude, this class is a joke.”
“Absolutely, man. Hey let’s try to find the C book.”
“No way, Dude. Last year they caught a couple of guys looking for it. And they disappeared. No one has heard from them since.
Here’s our next class.
Math. Hey, this will be a breeze. Look at the chalkboard.” BEWARE OF THE CENSOR.
“If he can’t even spell it, he sure as hell ain’t going to catch us cheating.”
High fives.
Fallen Hero
Another sports hero bites the dust! How many heroes have disappointed their fans by doing something totally stupid? A case in point is Aaron Rodgers, the highly decorated quarterback and reigning MVP of the Green Bay Packers. Rodgers seemed to have it all, but he certainly hasn’t acted like it beginning in the off-season when he played hard-to-get with the team. Now he’s gone overboard, however. He didn’t get a COVID shot and lied to the team about it. Now he has to be in quarantine for at least eleven days, and he’ll miss at least one game for the Packers. But I think I know what’s bothering him. Tom Pelissero of the NFL Network has reported that after all the bonuses Rodgers’ salary for this season is $22,364,706. I think he’s worried because he’s not making enough money to support himself and his fiancé. In fact he is so distraught about his lack of finances that it is making him do strange things. By doing this, he is hoping a lot of his fans will start a collection fund for him. He is secretly hoping that his fans can raise $1 billion. If they do that, Rogers promises he’ll get a COVID vaccination. Please contribute so that Aaron can come out and play again.
STILL COMING:
It’s coming. No, it’s not here yet, but it’s on its way. You don’t have to believe me. Did you check outside this morning? It was a brief preview of things to come. But it’s not even close to what’s coming. When that all gets here, we’ll all know it’s here. But right now you’re going to have to live with the fact that I know when it’s coming and you don’t. I’ll let you know. Just keep checking with me.
PONDER THIS:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn’t concentrate.
~ ANONYMOUS
