Watch Out!
Here’s a piece of advice that you may or may not find valuable.
And if you don’t, remember that it’s free.
The other morning I had barely opened my eyes when my wife called to me from the living room, “Bill, we don’t have any TV, and there’s a notice that we have to pay our bill before they will turn it back on.”
Now that upset me on several levels. I know that I don’t miss the payment to my Internet provider, which shall remain nameless. The reason I don’t miss those payments is I have my provider deduct that payment from a credit card on file with them so that I don’t miss a payment. So I fired up my laptop, and it too bore the message that my service would not be restored until I paid my bill. Now my emotions were a cross between being totally puzzled and thoroughly pissed. I was puzzled because I had no idea how I had missed that payment, and I was pissed because all of this happened first thing in the morning and because I knew what I had to do next, and I hated it.
I took a deep breath, picked up the phone and dialed the number of my provider. RING! RING! “HELLO. THANK YOU FOR CALLING PROVIDER. PLEASE HOLD.” HORRIBLE MUSIC BEGINS. “ALL OF OUR AGENTS ARE ASSISTING OTHER CSTOMERS. YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US. PLEASE CONTINUE TO HOLD FOR THE NEXT AVAILABLE AGENT.” MORE HORRIBLE MUSIC. (FINALLY). “THANK YOU FOR CALLING PROVIDER. MY NAMES ISHMAEL. I’M A PAYMENT AGENT. HOW MAY I HELP YOU?” “I have no Internet and no TV, and I don’t why.” “I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT. WHAT IS YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER?” “278841M228O892B3286Y67312” “THANK YOU. LET ME JUST CALL UP YOUR ACCOUNT. (LONNNNNG PAUSSSSSSSSE. SILENCE. MORE BAD MUSIC. “THANK YOU FOR HOLDING. I SEE HERE WHERE THE CARD YOU WERE USING HAS EXPIRED. DO YOU WANT TO TRY ANOTHER ONE?” “Yes but first, what are the last four numbers on the bad card?” “4324.” (This precipitated a frantic search through all my credit cards that yielded nothing. I was contemplating becoming fish food by throwing myself into the Ohio River from one of the many bridges in the area, but I was saved by the Provider man. “MR. HANNA, YOUR TVS ARE WORKING AS IS YOUR INTERNET. IS THERE ANY WAY ELSE I CAN HELP YOU?. “No. Thank you very much.” YOU ARE WELCOME. WE ARE HERE 24-7. DON’T HESITATE TO CALL. GOODBYE.
Well, things were up and running, but who stole my credit card? And then it hit me. I had a bank card tied to my bank for various things. A call to the bank, and the mystery was solved. When the bank issued new cards back in November, I neglected to upgrade my account. Thus the whole miserable experience was my fault. BUT, the bank should have done a better job of notifying me, and the provider didn’t need to flex its muscles by shutting down all the media in the house. A motorcycle gang bearing Uzis would have worked for me.
Lessons learned: Don’t carry more than 50 or 60 cards at a time; always blame yourself first; know where your cards are at all times; always blame yourself second. The hell with it. Throw away all your cards, blame yourself, and stay happy.
It’s Gaining On Us
After spending what for many of us was the worst Christmas in memory because of the damn virus, this year it’s full speed ahead, and it’s really nice to see the season return to parades up and down the Valley and shoppers carrying bundles to their cars. Although that’s a welcome sight, we shouldn’t for a minute let down our guard, get rid of our masks yet, or become too complacent because Covid is still here and looks as if it plans to stay for some time.
Take full advantage of being able to spend quality time with your families. But pay strict attention to the advice of the health providers, and if you haven’t already done so, please get vaccinated. You don’t want to spend the holidays in the hospital and on a ventilator. Happy holidays.
Ponder This:
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
~ Demetri Martin
