Take a moment, turn off the music, put your phone down, and just … be in your mind by yourself, in silence and ask yourself, “What am I doing?”
And not in a superficial way.
When you ask yourself, “What am I doing?” do your shoulders start to creep up around your ears because your muscles are so tight that you can’t relax? Are you putting in over 40 hours every week and checking your phone for messages right before bed every night? Are you checking your email on the weekends? Sound familiar? You are not alone.
You may be caught in a loop and need to “Press Pause,” a term used by author Joelle Conners Moray in her new book, What Are We Doing?! Radical Self-Care for the Hustle Culture (Networlding Publishing 2024).
According to Moray, people often find themselves exhausted, mentally drained, and without healthy boundaries not knowing how to get out of the loop. The book provides an in-depth look at how Moray turned down the volume on the outside noise in her own life and found a way to nurture herself, keep her work values, practice yoga, maintain a healthy relationship with her husband Stefan – all while raising two young children.
She is a Wheeling, WV resident, National Certified Counselor and Provisionally Licensed Counselor in private practice, Founder and CEO of Integrate Wellness, multiple certifications training plus workplace wellness and speaking engagements.
In the book, she describes her struggles and successes as she opens up and examines what each of us may be experiencing and how to Press Pause and thrive in the midst of the daily hustle.
Recently, I had the pleasure of chatting with Joelle Moray as she explained what inspired her to write the book, what she wants for her readers, and her dad’s influence on her writing. She also shared what direction she might take in her next book.
When I asked her what inspired her to write the book, she referred to her observations and curiosity about the challenges people face in everyday life.
She told me that she noticed her friends, family and colleagues were, and still are, using their personal time for work. This is not a vacation, this is working while on vacation. If this sounds familiar, welcome to the club. She observed this pattern happening repeatedly with her loved ones and knew there had to be a way to help guide people out of the hustle and into a healthy lifestyle.
This was a launching point for research and ultimately writing this book. I think many can say the automatic reply on their email during time off comes with a hook. We allow ourselves to stay connected to our work by stating something like the following,
“I will have limited access to email and will reply when time allows.”
At one point in the book Moray states, “I hope you are outraged, fed up, and mad about how far the pendulum has swung in the wrong direction when it comes to expectations about work and always being available.”
Why do we feel compelled to keep options open for checking emails during our vacation? Family time is meant to be a break from the hustle. Our time should be for fun, relaxation, basically time to be used for yourself, away from the hustle of our work.
Moray explained that people can only take so much stress before it begins to affect their physical and mental health. She observed a syndrome, known as Complex PTSD, in her mother who had a series of individual stressors over the course of her life that contributed to a diseased brain as she aged. Moray realized she was in the work loop of being an overachiever who would persist to the point of shutting down and burning out.
Then, after the curtains were drawn, sleeping for 10 hours and dragging herself out of bed, she would go right back to being an overachiever. So, Joelle asks, “What are we doing!?” and provides a road map for examining one’s life style and the effects it may have on mental health. Her main message is that we need to do better and she helps to show how this can be accomplished.
Moray leads readers to ask questions, get curious about our own mental and physical health and have conversations with family, friends and colleagues to answer the question, “Where do we go from here?”
This book is part self-help, part autobiography. You get to know Joelle in an intimate way while taking a deep look at your own mental health. As she describes her past stressors, enjoyments, COVID, frighting moments of learning she and her husband would become parents of not one, but two babies who would be less than three weeks apart in age, the passing of her mother and two years later, the passing of her father, she takes you into a deep dive and guides you through stages of self-help.
She makes you laugh, cry, and reflect, one emotional moment after another.
You don’t have to be in crisis to read this book. You just need to press pause, ask yourself,
What am I doing?! Purchase the book on Amazon:
Enjoy the read and get curious about your own mental and physical health, Press Pause and give yourself some self-care.
