My dad died on Thanksgiving Day when I was six years old, so I wasn’t raised in a family that really celebrated it as a big happy holiday. It became easier as the years went on, but there’s always been a deep sadness around it.
Not helping was the fact that we don’t have a big family. There’s me, my chicks, and my mom. I have a brother and a sister-in-law, but her family usually has big get-togethers that they attend. So usually, it’s a day that seems like every other day plus the obligatory turkey. Actually, we downsized to a turkey breast years ago because all of the dark meat went wasted.
Last year, I drove my crew to Georgia to reacquaint my youngest with her father. We returned home on Thanksgiving Day, just in time to eat. We had gone to visit friends who had moved to St. Augustine, Florida, and met up with relatives there. We visited the Georgia beaches. And turns out, we had a good time. The world didn’t stop turning because we mixed it up. We were a little tired, but other than that, everything was good. I told the family then that I thought we ought to spend Thanksgiving away every year for a while. It was past time to reinvent the holiday.
A few months ago, scrolling through social media, an ad popped up for a place to stay through an app. Bored, I clicked the link and started exploring. An east coast beach in November? Nah, who does that? It makes zero sense. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about being alone by myself on the beach in the crisp cold air.
I scrolled through property after property, daydreaming, and then I happened upon one that was so light and radiated so much warmth and peace that I couldn’t stop looking at it. Knowing that I could never afford a trip like that, I clicked the button anyway, and knew within a second that I could never pay that. But then I saw a banner that read “pay by the month.” Um, what?
There was a way that you could make monthly payments. Shut. The. Cottage. Door. Why had no one ever told me about this? I mean, seriously. Right then, I booked the place, no questions asked. And I was so proud of myself. Look at me, building a new tradition with my family!
I told my mom first. Her first question was how we were going to cook Thanksgiving dinner (old traditions die hard, eh). I told her there was a grocery store somewhere or we could take the stuff with us. She suggested that we have the meal cooked and packed here, leaving us to only heat it up the day of. What? That was a wonderful idea! So that’s exactly what I did. Now we don’t even have to worry about cooking.
COVID tried to steal the joy of my trip, but I believe the Universe knows I need this. I need this trip for a lot of reasons. I need it to break the sadness and to make Thanksgiving something we look forward to again. I need it because my job has been tough for months, all-consuming for the last two of those, and because I need some time to separate myself from my norm so I can appreciate it again.
I bought new books for everyone. The chicks have new matching pajamas (that they’re going to probably hate me for). I have dreams of everyone resting, exploring without a timeline or agenda, searching for sea glass on Thanksgiving Day on the beach, drinking coffee and watching the sun rise and set on the water. The most beautiful part of vacation is not having to do anything for anyone.
What I’ve found this week is that my family has zero trouble embracing this new tradition while people who love us seem almost unsettled by it. “You could have come here for dinner” is the most common response after a discussion about the holiday comes up. We’re not doing this because we didn’t have anything else to do. We’re doing this because we’re ready to have fun and adventure and, in our case, break generational curses. We’re doing it because the traditional expectation of Thanksgiving bores the hell out of us, frankly.
To those of you who sit and dream about trips you want to take and things you want to do, look into it. Again, why did no one tell me about monthly payments on a vacation home? We don’t have to do what we’ve always done because it makes everyone around us feel comfortable. Build the traditions you want. Start planning now for the next vacation. Do you, boo. Happy Thanksgiving!
Onward,
Amy Jo
