School started today!
It’s a bittersweet day for me. My oldest is a senior and my youngest is a freshman. The reality of senior year has creeped up on me, and I’m sure that I’ll try to run from it until I back myself into a corner.
My youngest being a freshman is really hitting me in the feels. I’m on the four year plan, I guess.
There are three years between my girls. A lot of things had obviously changed between the birth of my oldest and my youngest. The youngest’s car seat wouldn’t fit in the car, for example, because it was too big. There were also changes in formula and advice. But I had no idea how much the world had changed until my kids went to school.
I imagined we’d have some struggles, but I never imagined that I would be downright shocked sometimes at how mean young kids were, and mine are included. I used to blame social media or television. Things have really changed since I first sent my kids to school. We’ve become polarized and divided. I read some of the most hurtful insults on social media posts. And Snapchat? It seems as if we’re in a battle of some sort all the time.
I do have a set of expectations for my kids’ school. First of all, I want my kids to feel wanted. I don’t want them in a room with an adult that they assume doesn’t like them. I don’t want them in a room with someone who yells because I’m not a yeller and my kids shut down when they’re around it. I don’t want my kids to know what a teacher’s political views are because that shouldn’t matter in a public school. It’s not my kids’ job to worry about politically offending a teacher.
I also don’t want my kids to hear teachers making disparaging comments about poor people. Or black people. Or brown or gay or trans or indigenous people, whether it’s done unknowingly or not. I want my kids to not be afraid to ask for help and I want them to learn. I want them to learn like we’re not one of the lowest ranking states in the nation.
This year has begun with parents battling over curriculum and masks. Some think the reproductive system of a seahorse is too much for the youngest learners while others don’t believe that a book with a PG-13 movie rating is inappropriate for 14-year-olds. I am upset, too, because I want my children exposed to diversity. I want us to get uncomfortable in our whiteness and expand our thinking. How do we grow without learning?
I want the high school experience to be one that is remembered with fondness. I want my kids to find their crews. I want them to do well and not be too stressed. I want them to feel supported and seen. I want them to learn and not just math and English. I want them to build on their skills of compromise and kindness. I want them to speak up for those in harm’s way. I want them to push back against bigotry and prejudice. I want them to have empathy.
Honestly, I’m a little concerned. I know that some kids are being raised in an environment that teaches racism. I know from personal experience there are people who raise their kids to feel as if kids of lower socioeconomic status aren’t worthy or capable. And I know there are parents who have taught their children to not wear masks and to make fun of everyone who does. I know there are people who still don’t believe we need to err on the side of caution as I think about a childhood friend of mine who was just removed from life support due to COVID.
How do we create an environment outside of the school that can be mirrored and carried over into school? How do we get back to being kind and concerned for one another? And how do we support our kids when they’re battling opposite attitudes and beliefs face to face without us there?
Our biggest worry about school starting used to be who had who for class. Now we’re talking about which kids don’t like each other, who’s homophobic, who’s racist, and how to not be damaged by the people who don’t believe as we do. We’re responsible for our environment. What’s it going to take for us to come back together again and at least pretend to like each other?
How do we, as parents, begin and support efforts to build a community back based on simple humanity?
I think we all have a lot to learn. Have a great year!
Onward,
Amy Jo
