Bill Hanna’s Musings
–Today is Super Bowl Sunday, and this marks the 55th time that the best team from the National Football Conference has squared off against the top team from the American Football Conference. The contest today pits the defending champions Kansas City Chiefs against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and because of COVID-19 it will have the lowest attendance in the history of the game, which will be played at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. The capacity for the home of the Buccaneers is 65,890, but today’s crowd will number only 25,000 live fans, who will be joined by 30,000 cutouts. Back in 1967, Super Bowl I drew a crowd of just 61,946, but they were all alive. Incidentally a 30-second commercial back then cost between $37,500 and $42,500, but the price for a 30-second ad in today’s game is an astounding $5.6 million. This year’s game features a battle of youth versus age at the quarterback position. In leading Kansas City to a 31-20 victory over the San Francisco 49ers last year at the age of 24, Patrick Mahomes became the youngest player ever to be named the Super Bowl’s most valuable player. But he will be facing an NFL legend with the 43-year-old Tom Brady (Yes, you read that age correctly.) under center for the Buccaneers. Brady wasn’t drafted by the New England Patriots until sixth round back in 2000, but in the ensuing 20 years, he led the Pats to nine Super Bowl appearances and six wins. During his tenure with New England Brady was named the NFL’s Most Valuable Player, and he has collected four more trophies as the Super Bowl MVP. So it will be King Tom Terrific against Patrick the Pretender vying for the Super Bowl LV Crown. If the game turns out to be a dud, maybe one of the sidelines reporters could conduct an interview with one of the cutouts to liven things up. And yes the Budweiser Clydesdales will be in a commercial, but it won’t be for Budweiser. If that’s not bad enough, the spot will air only in New York and Boston. What a bummer! At least they’re not using Clydesdale cutouts.
–Here’s some pretty good news. Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued the following statement early last week: “Monday cases and hospital admissions continued to decrease, and we now appear to be in a consistent downward trajectory for both of these important outcomes. COVID-19 cases have declined steadily since hitting a peak on January 8, dropping 13.4 percent to an average of nearly 144,000 cases per day from January to February. First cases are now back to the level of work before Thanksgiving.” BUT THE VIRUS STILL ISN’T GONE, SO YOU STILL NEED TO FOLLOW THE PREVENTION PROTOCOL OF WEARING A MASK AND PRACTICING SOCIAL DISTANCING. But at least there may be a small patch of blue showing through the hideous cloud that has enshrouded for almost 12 months now. However, the CDC has issued a warning about Super Bowl parties. It strongly recommends that you have a party only with those living in your house, or if you insist on having other guests, hold the party outside. Of course that wouldn’t be much fun in Wheeling, but here’s a suggestion. Follow the lead of the Super Bowl organizers and make yourself some cardboard cutouts to bring to your party. They won’t be asymptomatic virus carriers, they won’t talk during the game, and they will eat and drink nothing. In short, they are perfect guests.
–In a bit of very sad news from the entertainment world last Monday, in an interview with AARP Magazine Tony Bennett’s family said the iconic 94-year-old crooner has been in a battle with Alzheimer’s since 2016. His wife, Susan, said the singer’s doctor has encouraged him to perform as a kind of therapy. Bennett recently wrapped a new album with Lady Gaga as a follow up to “Cheek to Cheek,” the smash album the two released back in 2014. The new album is set to debut in the spring. In the AARP interview, Bennett’s wife, Susan, said, “There’s a lot of him I miss because he’s not the old Tony anymore. But when he sings, he’s the old Tony.” If you’re familiar with “The Wizard of Oz” story, you’ll recall that Dorothy and her three friends, the lion, the scarecrow, and the tin woodsman all needed something from the wizard, and the tin man wanted a heart. Well, it turns out he’s not the only one with that request. It seems that Bennett paid the good wizard countless visits throughout the years for a new heart. He kept leaving his in San Francisco.
—Ponder this: If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? ~Bert Christensen
