A Sign
–Well, February is in the history books, and last week March came in like a lamb. The sun continues to gift us with a little more light each day, next Sunday we can set the clocks ahead to begin enjoying Daylight Saving Time, and on Saturday spring arrives after a winter that finally let go following what turned into a miserably long “short” month of February. Now is the time people begin looking for the signs of spring like the arrival of a few robins in the yard that’s finally green again after being covered with snow for weeks. Depending on where you live, a few daffodils may be poking their green leaves from beneath the heretofore frozen ground. Different people may look for different harbingers of spring each year, and certainly robins, daffodils, and the return of Daylight Saving Time will be among them. But as a denizen of Wheeling I depend on only one event as signaling the advent of spring, and if you live here you probably drive by it multiple times on National Road without even noticing it. As you drive toward Wheeling from the intersection where Perkins is located, you will enter the Fulton area. Look to your left, and just before the car wash and the jiffy lube you will see a Dairy Queen on the corner. There’s a red “Open” sign hanging in the window, and when that light goes on, you know that spring won’t be far behind. Trust me! I have relied on that sign for years, and it never has failed me. And yes it’s ON now. Happy Spring!
Serve the Ham; Hold the Eggs
–In the latest publishing controversy, six books in the Dr. Seuss collection will be published no longer according to the business that handles the late author’s books. Those books are: “And to Think I Saw It on Mulberry Street,” “If I Ran the Zoo,” “McElligot’s Pool!,” “One Beyond Zebra!,” “Scrambled Eggs Super!,” and “The Cat’s Quizzer.” Dr. Seuss Enterprises recently issued a statement to the Associated Press saying, “These books portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong. Ceasing sales of these books is only part of our commitment and our broader plan to ensure Dr. Seuss Enterprises’ catalog represents and supports all communities and families.” The problem was the way some of the illustrations portrayed various ethnic groups. Notice that “Green Eggs and Ham” was not on the list. Apparently Dr. Seuss Enterprises did not fear offending moldy eggs.
Hut! Hut! For Big Ben
–Oh there was much joy in Steelers’ Land last Thursday when the team announced that Big Ben Roethlisberger will be returning for the 2021 season. That news alone is big enough, but the really BIG news is that he voluntarily took a $5 million hit from his salary to help reduce the team’s salary-cap hit. In a statement issued to ESPN staff writer Brooke Pryor, Roethlisberger said, “It is my greatest honor to be a Pittsburgh Steeler and give my all for this organization. I am grateful to be at this stage of the game in my career and more than happy to adjust my contract in a way that helps the team address other players who are so vital to our success.” But fans need not worry that sacrificing $5 million will land the Steeler signal caller in the poorhouse. A recent poll showed his net worth to be about $100 million, and so I think the future Hall of Famer will be able to feed and clothe his family for at least another year.
March 4 Bummer
–Oh yes! The second coming of Donald Trump proved to be nothing more than a nasty rumor that never eventuated. I had spent most of my day last Thursday nervously pacing in front of the television set apprehensively dreading the news bulletin and the coverage that would follow. Imagine then my jubilation when no big news broke. Nada! Nothing! Some QAnon backers originally targeted March 4 as the date Trump would return to claim the presidency that had been denied him when Joe Biden was inaugurated on Jan. 20. These people believe the government of the United States became a corporation in 1871, and if this were true (OF COURSE IT’S NOT!), it would mean that all the presidents sworn in since Ulysses S. Grant are illegitimate and that Trump became the 19th U.S. president on March 4. This was the inauguration date of all U.S. presidents until 1933, when the 20th amendment was passed to change the date of all future inaugurations to Jan. 20. Of course, March 4 like a lamb and left like a lamb, but now QAnon is claiming March 20 is the authentic date when Trump will reclaim his “stolen” presidency. Why March 20? Well, it just so happens that on March 20, 1854, the Republican Party was founded in Ripon, Wis. What better way for the GOP to celebrate its 167th birthday than by reclaiming the coveted crown of the U.S. presidency? But take it from me: Don’t get all worked up over it because when March 21 dawns, Biden still will be in the White House.
Ponder This
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” ~Anonymous
