There was a choice to make, a two-pronged fork along a path of sorrow and uncertainty, and she could have traveled the other way.
Gary and Jody Miller lost their daughter in a tragic car crash nearly 15 years ago on National Road near the Springdale neighborhood in Wheeling. Heather was the passenger, and the 21-year-old suffered blunt force trauma to her head. It was late when the deputies from the Ohio County Sheriff’s Office knocked on the Miller’s door.
“We drove past the scene on the way to the hospital,” Miller recalled. “It was horrible. Just horrible.”
Heather immediately was admitted to the intensive care unit at the Ohio Valley Medical Center and she was alive for nearly a week before her brain activity diminished and then ended. Heather Miller passed away on March 31, 2008.
“I can honestly say Heather was my best friend. She was my confidante. We shared things with each other that mothers and daughters shouldn’t have shared with each other, but we did. She was my best friend,” Miller said. “I had no will to live. I wanted to die with her. There was no damn reason for her to be in that situation. It hurt to take a breath.
“And there were times when I had to concentrate on taking that next breath to make sure I did. I believe the only thing that saved me was the fact she was an organ donor,” she recalled. “That gave me a glimpse beyond that horrific time. The fact that the day we were burying her was the best day in someone else’s life because they had their life saved thanks to Heather gave me a reason to live.”
Heather, though, was an organ donor, and along with skin tissue that’s helped a plethora of people, her heart, both kidneys, liver, and pancreas were donated to extend the lives of others.
And that included Jody’s life.
“I talked to my brother, Joe (McGlumphy), and we agreed we had to do something, but we didn’t know what at first. We knew it had to be something that would continue what she believed in the most, and that was caring for others. That’s why Heather wanted to become a nurse and she was weeks away from making her dream come true,” Miller explained. “That’s why we started the golf tournament.
“It gave me that path to go down so somehow I put all of that pain and all of that suffering to the side and took that next step,” she said. “Somehow, I made it to the next step. It was either I was going to do something or do nothing, so I did something, and we thought if we could give away one nursing scholarship away in her memory, we would accomplish something for her. Well, we’ll be over 200 scholarships this summer, and she’d be happy about that.”
When the Sun Shines
She receives notes and texts and cards, and the common denominator is the words, “Thank you.” The majority of the messages are from the students chosen for the annual scholarships from the annual Heather Miller Memorial Golf Classic, and others are sent by others who need to believe in something, too.
Not only did Jody start Ohio County’s Mothers Against Drunk Driving because alcohol was involved in the fatal crash, according to police reports, but Jody Miller has assisted with DUI checkpoints and she’s spearheaded many awareness campaigns, as well. But this perpetually mourning mother isn’t interested in sending people to jail, but instead wants to remind us that tragedy can be avoided by making better decisions.
“It’s just seemed that every year offers us something to carry us to the next year,” Miller insisted. “We’ve met one of Heather’s organ recipients, and I started the MADD Chapter in Wheeling, and now I’m lobbying and giving a U.S. Senator (Sen. Shelley Moore Capito, R-W.Va.) an award for what she does for us. It’s been a path that’s saved my life, and now that we’ve met the author of the book, ‘Gifted, we’ll be in a docuseries about transplants and the families that are involved.
“Heather is definitely saving lives, and that includes mine. She gave me my mission, and I think part of it is Heather wanted to make sure I wasn’t bored,” she said with a broad smile. “It comes down to a mother willing to do anything for their kids. I adore all of my children with my whole heart, and this drives me, and my community and its support humbles me every year. It’s incredible.”
It’s Not About the Golf! That’s the slogan for the annual golf event, right? It’s a simple message, too, and it’s not missed by any of the hundreds of golfers who have participated since that first year. No one consumes an ounce of alcohol, either, and we are reminded that The Beatle’s “Here Comes the Song” is about real resurrections that come true in many different forms.
“It’s all about her legacy, really, and that we chose to do something positive. We didn’t want that tragedy to define her. We wanted the focus to be on what she gave to the world,” Miller insisted. “So, yes, everything that’s come from the golf event and everything else is about her legacy. It’s what she gave back to the world.
“I believe she’s always smiling at me, and I think she’ll always be giving me that little giggle that she had. Uncle Joe says she would say to me, ‘Love you more’ if I saw her again, and he’s probably right,” she added. “All I know is that we’re still side by side and will be forever.”
