There was a time when putting something in writing meant you chose your words carefully.
A handwritten letter, a note to the editor, and even emails carried a certain level of thoughtfulness because once those words were on paper, they stayed there. The written language often reflected our best selves. We edited. We used white-out. We asked ourselves if what we were about to say was fair.
Somewhere along the way, that changed.
Today, it seems written language has become more vulgar than spoken conversation. Social media comment sections, texts, and anonymous online forums have become places where people say things I would hope they would never say while standing face to face with another human being.
Much to my mother’s dismay, I can throw around the cuss words with the best of them. I am not proud of it, and I do try to watch what I say. However, I also understand that colorful language can have its place. Certain words can be cathartic. A well-placed word in a private conversation is one thing. Filling every sentence with profanity, personal attacks, and crude insults is something entirely different. Often, I find the personal attacks worse than the words.
Sometimes I read comments online and wonder if people have forgotten that someone on the other side of the screen is actually reading those words. The harshness is startling.
Words that would have shocked people twenty years ago barely get a second glance today. Language that once would have been whispered among close friends is now posted publicly for everyone to see. Even more troubling is how quickly those words are accepted as normal. They should not be.
Disagreement has always been part of a healthy society. Some of our nation’s greatest debates have involved passionate disagreements over issues that shaped history. Those debates were not always polite, but often the participants would still recognize the value of making an argument instead of making an enemy. Today, too often, disagreement begins and ends with an insult.
If someone has a different political opinion, they are called names. If someone questions an idea, they are ridiculed. If someone offers a different perspective, they are mocked before anyone even considers what they have to say. When did we stop believing that ideas could compete without people having to tear each other apart? Some days it is brutal.
I definitely think technology deserves some of the blame. It is much easier to type something from behind a keyboard than it is to look another person in the eye. Distance removes accountability. Anonymity removes restraint. Before long, people begin writing things they would never dream of saying in person. That loss of restraint affects more than politics. Everything seems to be so personal.
Spoken words can be forgotten or misunderstood. Written words can be captured, shared, and preserved forever. Future employers can read them. Children can stumble across them, and friends can remember them. What does it say about us if our permanent record is filled with crudeness and hate?
Good writing used to elevate conversation. Today, unfortunately, it often drags it into the gutter. That is unfortunate because words still have tremendous power.
Words can persuade. They can comfort. They can inspire. They can challenge people to think differently. I hate to say none of those things require profanity, and none of them require humiliation.
Some of the most powerful speeches in history were memorable because of their ideas, not because they shocked people with their language. Strong arguments stand on facts, logic, and conviction. Weak arguments often lean on insults.
That does not mean every conversation must sound like a college debate. Humor has its place. Emotion has its place. Passion certainly has its place. Being polite does not require us to become robots. We just need to remember that other people deserve basic respect, even when we disagree.
What are the younger generations are learning from the examples adults are setting? If every post they read is full of the worst profanity, name-calling, and personal attacks, they may believe that is simply how adults communicate. We need better from ourselves.
One of the easiest tests before posting something online is to ask a simple question. Would I say these exact words if this person were sitting across the table from me? If the answer is no, perhaps those words should never be posted.
The world already has enough division. We do not need our language to make it worse. Civil discourse does not mean surrendering our principles. It does not mean avoiding difficult conversations or pretending we all agree.
It means remembering that character is revealed not only by what we believe, but by how we express those beliefs. I still believe that written words should reflect the best version of ourselves. They should demonstrate thought instead of impulse. They should invite conversation instead of ending it. They should leave room for persuasion rather than guaranteeing resentment.
Disagreement is inevitable. Democracy depends on it. Communities grow because of it. Families survive it.
Perhaps it is time we rediscovered something our parents and grandparents understood. You can be firm without being foul. You can make your point without making someone blush. You can disagree passionately without abandoning basic decency. Our language says a great deal about who we are.
Maybe it is time our writing started saying something better.
